Thursday, May 10, 2012

DRESS YOUR DUDE BABY LIKE A DUDE BABY!!!


SO THIS IS ME AND MY, "OLE LADY"  LOL... SHE'S GONNA KILL ME! BUT SHE IS SUCH A BUTE'.. CLASSY FROM HEAD TO TOE, AND REALLY IS THE BEST LOOKING PART OF ME BAR NONE... I'M SURE ALL OF YOU WOULD AGREE..  SHE HAS SUCH A FASHION SENSE ABOUT HER AND REALLY STAYS ON TOP OF THE NEWEST TRENDY KINDS OF THINGS... ME, WELL, POLO AND FLIPPY FLOPPY'S ARE MY THING, BUT TRUST WHEN I SAY THAT SHE GETS THE FINAL SAY AND APPROVAL WHEN IT COMES TO US GOING OUT AND KEEPING A POSITIVE VISUAL IMAGE OF OUR FAMILY.. NO CUT OFF TEE'S, WIFE BEATER'S, OR SPANDEX HERE.  THAT SHIT HIT THE TRASH AS SOON AS WE BECAME A LEGIT COUPLE.... " I MISS MY SPANDEX/WIFE'WHIPPER OUTFIT BY THE WAY"  BUT WITH ALL THIS BEING SAID SHE HAS BROUGHT MY STYLE GAME WAY UP AND I NOW KEEP MY "SHIT" 100 ALL DAY ERY'DAY..  I KNOW WE LOOK LIKE WE HAVE NEVER HAD A BAD DAY IN OUR WHOLE LIFE, BUT LET ME TELL YA.... ONE OF THE BIGGEST SQWAAB'S WE EVA' HAD WAS ABOUT OUR SON, HOW HE DRESSES AND KEEPING OUR DUDE BABY, LOOKING LIKE AN EFF-ING DUDE BABY!!  LET ME EXPLAIN A BIT......

THIS IS OUR LIL' BLUE-CHIPPER!!! CA$HMONEY'...


 HIS "DUDE BABY" FASHION SENSE  DOESN'T GET ANYMORE SCRILLA' THAN THIS!  CA$H-DMC... SWAG TO THE MAX AND WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO "DRESS LIKE A DUDE BABY"..  THIS IS NOT A GOOGLE PIC, AND IS EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS WEARING WHEN HE CAME FROM THE WOMB.... I KNOW RIGHT.. IT GOES SUPER DUPER HARD.. I THOUGHT THE SAME THING WHEN WE FIRST MET. AND NEEDLESS TO SAY HE HAS BROUGHT MY PIMP GAME WAY UP... LIKE ICE "T" UP....  BUT TRUST WHEN I SAY COCO DOES NOT HAVE THE STATUS TO GET WIT' THIS PLAYA'... THIS IS ELITE "DUDE BABY' STATUS.. MY BOY GOES 100!!

SO LACEY AND I BEEF HARD AS SHIT ON OCCASION ABOUT WHAT IS HOT AND WHAT ABSOLUTELY IS NOT....  I'M ALL ABOUT KEEPING MY BLUE-CHIPPER IN THE TIGHTEST POLO AND SWEATERS POSSIBLE WHILE MY WIFE CONTENDS THAT HE WILL ONLY BE HER "BABY" FOR A LITTLE WHILE AND HE WILL DRESS LIKE A, AS SHE SAYS, "CUTIE PU-TOOTIE"...  NO MAS MADRE', NO MAS... THIS WILL NOT DO! LET ME GIVE YOU SOME EXAMPLES SO YOU CAN PICK UP WHAT I AM TRYING TO THROW IN THE LANDFILL..... 



THX DAD FOR MY KAYNE WEST STUNNA' SHADES!! I'M GOIN' 100!!





REALLY MOM, REALLY.. CAN'T GET NO BABY PLAY WIT THIS HAT!!  I'M TELLIN' DAD!!








SWAG' TO THA' MAX SON!!



"WRONG!!!!!"

NOW I DON'T WANT ALL MY READERS TO THINK THAT MY BABY MOMMA' HAS NO STYLE... YOU WOULD BE DEAD ASS WRONG. MY WIFE KEEPS ME NOT  LOOKING LIKE A CLOWN NINJA ON THE REG.. AND BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT SHE GETS CREDIT FOR 99% OF HOW MY SON DRESSES... BUT THAT 1% IS UTTER FAIL!!!  IT MAKES ME WANT TO TAKE 20 TYLENOL GEL TABS AND BID THE WORLD GOOD DAY.. FOR REAL, IT REALLY CHAPS MY ASS WHEN I HAVE TO FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL FOR MY DUDE BABY TO DRESS LIKE AN EFF-NG DUDE BABY!! I MEAN I THINK SHE POISONS MY FOOD OR SOMETHING CUZ' MY MAN METER JUST SHRINKS TO SHIT WHEN SHE PRANCES MY GANGSTER LOOKIN' "LIL" DUDE IN THE ROOM IN SOME FORM OF MAN TU-TU.  IF WE HAD A LITTLE GIRL, NO PROBLAMO' KNOCK YOUR SELF OUT!! DO YOUR WORST, OR IN THAT CASE YOUR BEST!  
BUT HE IS A LIL' BOY DAMON!!!!!
THE WORST PART ABOUT MY "BABY DUDE" DEBACLE IS THAT I HAVE ZERO BACKUP.. AND IT SUX!  PEOPLE COME OVER TO MY HOUSE OR COMMENT ON FACE SPACE ALL THE TIME. ABOUT MY 1ST TEAM ALL-AMERICAN..  AND I MEAN  ALL THE WOMEN IN MY LIFE.. MOM'S, AUNT'S, SISTER'S AND ANY OTHER FEMALE ACQUAINTANCE, AND ALL I GET IS....."AWWWW HOW CUTE, HE SO ADORABLE"  AND HE IN FACT IS...WITHOUT THE BULLSHIT CLOTHES! WHILE ALL THE DUDES IN MY CIRCLE BAIL ON ME AND STAND OUTSIDE LIKE KOBE BRYANT IS OUTSIDE DUNKING THE SHIT OUT OF MY NERF BASKETBALL GOAL OR SOME SHIT!...(DICKS) ..............................


 BUT MOST OF MY FRIENDS HAVE LITTLE GIRLS SO THEY CAN'T RELATE.  SO WHAT DO I DO?? ENTER "EGO".... EFF' THAT T-PAIN!! WE HAVE TO STAND UP FOR ALL MEN AND DUDE BABIES!!! TELL BABY MOMMA THAT THIS SHIT AIN'T GONNA FLY AND YOU WILL NOT STAND BY AND LET HER ESTROGENIZE OUR BOY'S BABY EGO!!"  ME:  "DAMN SKIPPY BOSS HOSS'!! WE GONNA GO TO WAR ON THIS!!! 


WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!!!!!


CONSCIOUS: "TOM TOM, MIGHT NOT WANT TO COME TO BLOWS OVER SUCH A LITTLE BIT OF CLOTHING....." BABY MOMMA IS SMART AND YOU WILL GET TOOKED' STRAIGHT TO CHURCH ON THIS ONE HOME SKILLET"..  ME: " BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS CONSCIOUS, YOU'RE ALWAYS SHITTING IN MY FRUITY HOOPS!!! COME ON EGO, LET GET THIS "W".."  YOU CAN DAMN WELL BET THAT I DIDN'T ONLY GET "TOOKED" TO CHURCH.....  I ENDED UP FEELING ABOUT.... OH THIS BIG AFTER SHE WAS DONE RAKING ME OVER THE COALS....

I EVEN THINK I CRIED AFTER SHE WAS DONE, "EDUCATING ME ON WHAT THE EFFF I WAS GONNA DO AND WHAT TO EXCEPT IN THE FUTURE...  CONSCIOUS: " I TOLD YOU DUDE RUDE.. YOU NEVER LISTEN AND YOU JUST GOT HANDLED UP ON AGAIN".. ME:  " IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON YOU CONSCIOUS I WILL BLOW YOUR SHIT ALL THE WAY UP!! AND THX "EGO" YOU HAVE SHIT ON ME YET AGAIN" CONSCIOUS & BABY MOMMA 1... TOM TOM & EGO... ZIP..  FUCK.....

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THESE EFFING CLOTHES ARE ABOUT?!!?  IT BLOWS ME AWAY THAT ANYONE CAN THINK THAT THIS KIND OF HORROR SHOW IS CUTE OR ACCEPTABLE IN THE WORLD OF LITTLE PISTOL STARTERS!! (THAT'S ANOTHER TERM FOR GANGSTER ASS LOOKIN' BABY DUDES).  
          
I DON'T GIVE A FAT BABY'S ASS HOW MUCH THOSE SKINNY JEANS COST!!! I AIN'T WEARIN' DEM SHITS!!
I FEEL LIKE THERE IS A TAD TOO MUCH HOUSE WIVES OR RACHEL ZOE PROJECT OR SOME SHIT... (I KNOW ITS RETARDED THAT I KNOW THESE SHOWS AND MY MAN CARD SHOULD BE COMPLETELY REVOKED)  ALL OF THESE T.V. REALITY SHOW SKEEZE'S REALLY CLOUD MEN'S WIVES WITH BIG PILES OF DOO-DOO... IF YOU WANT TO WEAR THAT TRASH, YOU NEED TO MOVE OUT WEST.. CUZ MY KID REPRESENTS THA BOOT' BABY!! (AT LEAST WHEN THE WIFEY IS AT WORK)


THIS TYPE SHIT JUST WON'T EFFING DUE!!  WE,  "SONS OF DADS"  BOOM!! THAT'S MY FIRST BUSINESS PLUG.. NEED TO TAKE CONTROL OF OUR KIDS FASHION.. I KNOW IT SOUNDS A LIL CRAY-CRAY TO THINK IT HAS TO COME TO THAT.  USED TO BE DAD'S JUST WORRIED ABOUT SPORTS AND PUTTING FOOD ON THE TABLE.  NOW, WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE OUR "DUDE BABIES" DON'T GET CLOWNED LIKE GIRLY MEN.. I MEAN SHIT CAN GET REAL AS HELL IN THE DAYCARE PARKING LOT IF ANOTHER "MAN" STARTS CLOWIN' ON WHAT MY KID IS WEARING.. YOU WILL GET CLAPPED UP SON!!! YOU BETTA' CHECK MY CHARGES!!!



 A CHILD'S EGO IS NOT THE THING TO MESS UP!  WE NEED TO KEEP OUR BABY DUDES , BABY DUDES AND MENTOR THEM INTO FOR REAL ASS GROWN UP MEN!!  TODAY IS THE DAY THAT WE SHOULD STAND UP FOR OURSELVES AND OUR DUDE BABIES!!  I AM SICK OF IT!!! FROM NOW ON I'M DISHING OUT LOLLIE POPS AND ASS WHIPPINS'..
AND I'M ALL OUT OF LOLLIE POPS!!!

I NEED ALL WOMEN TO UNDERSTAND THIS TODAY, TOMORROW, AND THE WHOLE TIME YOUR BABY DUDES ARE GROWNING UP.  DON'T THINK YOUR LIL BOYS WON'T GROW UP AND SEE THE GARB' YOU PUT THEM IN WHEN THEY WERE BABIES.. DON'T TAKE THEIR MANHOOD AWAY FROM THEM. ITS NOT FAIR.. SO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING SACRED... DON'T TORTURE YOUR BABY DUDE BY DRESSING HIM LIKE THIS.....  THAT SHIT AIN'T FUNNY!!......................

ON A SIDE NOTE: THIS WAS FOR YOUNG MONEY'S 1ST B-DAY .. I HAD TO GIVE IN.. HE MADE 1 "YEARS' OLD LOOK STUNNER!! AND HE MADE ME AND HONEY DIP LOOK HELLA GOOD!!



WWJD?? PROLLY KICK MY ASS FOR TALKIN SMACK! BUT I THINK HE WOULD SEE THINGS THE WAY I SEE THEM... UUMMM AT LEAST A LITTLE I HOPE! 
  
IN CLOSING, MY WIFE IS AWESOME!! SHE DOES SO MUCH FOR OUR FAMILY AND KEEPS MY KID FRESH DRESSED LIKE A MILLION BUCKS.. THERE IS NO DOUBT.. THE BAD THING FOR ME.... WE HAVE ANOTHER BABY DUDE ON THE WAY.."SUPER COOPER"  AND THAT'S SUCH A BLESSING.. SO I'M SURE WE ARE GONNA BE SCWABBIN' ABOUT ALL THIS ALL OVER AGAIN.  DAMN.  I NEED BACK UP THIS TIME BOYS! STOP LAUGHIN' AT PAIN AND GET IN THE GAME!! I NEED SUPPORT!

OH, AND A BIG SHOUT TO MY BOY MIZ'IKE HICKS FOR HITTIN OVER 4K ON HIS LAST POST!! BIG UPP'S HOMEY!!

AS ALWAYS 100% TRUE AS SHIT!! TIL' NEXT TIME..

ONE SHOT, ONE KILL!!

2 comments:

  1. I am a fellow "Spartan" and I support your cause Tom. We must stand up, and protect the dude baby right to max it out in scrilla swag, fresh to def Polos and sweaters, and some bomb a$$ skull hoodies. (did I use those slang words correctly?) Great stuff Tom, just great! Keep up the good work, and Thank You for your service! Stay safe.

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  2. Thx, and u hit all the "urban" terms correctly!! Hope u like all of them and I will be coming out with more stuff soon.. Thx for the support.

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