SO I REALLY HATE THIS.. AND I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO SAY IT. I MEAN I DO BUT I'M TRYING TO BE A BETTER PERSON. (KIND OF) BUT THIS REALLY CHAPS EVERY BIT OF MY ASS! AND THESE DAYS MY ASS IS BIGGER WITH EVERY BREATH, SO YOU DO THE MATH. (I JUST STARTED DIETING... EFF YOU!!) MY BEEF WITH THE FUCKING COUPON IS SIMPLY THIS... THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR EVERYTHING.. EXAMPLES OF "TIME" AND "PLACE" WHERE A COUPON WOULD BE DEEMED ACCEPTABLE WOULD BE A STRIPPER CLUB.. ALL MEN AGREE.. IF I CAN GET HALF OFF DRINKS AT THE STRIPPER CLUB.... SCORE.. CUZ' THAT SHIT IS WAY TO HIGH AND I KNOW THE OWNER IS TRYING TO OFFSET HIS COST BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE MY DOLLA'S TO STRIPPER CHICKS.. 2ND PLACE TO DEEM A COUPON APPROPRIATE IS AT A DINING ESTABLISHMENT.. IF I CAN GET GOOD FOOD FOR SOMETHING MORE THAN MY MILITARY OR SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNT. BOOM!! I'M GONNA HIT THEM WITH A COOP'!! FELLA'S BEWARE OF THE SUBWAY THOUGH... THEY GOT SOME CRAZY ASS COOPS' THERE.. WOMEN..... FEEL FREE....
AGAIN, FELLAS' BEWARE!! DON'T GET CAUGHT OUT BACK OF A SUBWAY.. CUZ ERY'BODY KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND THE YOUR "CLOSET DOOR" JUST GOT KICKED OF ITS HINGES.. JUST A WARNING.
SO MY DISGUST WITH THE "COUPON" OFFICIALLY BEGAN A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO.. I HAD JUST RETURNED HOME FROM BROOKE ARMY MEDICAL CENTER IN TEXAS AND MY WIFE AND I WERE AT MY PARENTS HOUSE. I THINK WE WERE STAYING THE NIGHT OR SOMETHING. ANYWAYS, I WAS GOING INTO TOWN FOR SOMETHING AND MY DAD ASKED IF I WOULD STOP AND GET SOME OJ.. EASY ENOUGH, SURE DAD, I CAN DO THAT..I JUMPED IN OUR "HO".. (CHEVY TAHOE) AND TURNED ON THE BEST OF CULTURE CLUB ON PANDORA.. A REAL HEAD BANGER... (I LIKE 80'S JAMS.... SO WHAT) I FIGURE SATURDAY AT WAL-MART IS NOT FOR ME SO I TELL MYSELF THAT "WAL-GREENS" IS THE ANSWER.. BOOM!! QUICK IN-AND-OUT, AND I'M BACK AT THE CASA' IN 20 MINUTES...... I BUST IN THE "GREENS" GRAB OJ MINUS WHITE FORD BRONCO..
AND I'M SET!!!
AS I GET IN A VERY SHORT LINE OF 3 PEOPLE I'M THINKING TO MYSELF.."SELF" THIS BROAD IN FRONT OF ME HAS A GANG OF SHIT IN HER CART... WHY DIDN'T SHE TAKE HER THRIFTY ASS TO WAL-MART OR THE DOLLA STO' OR SOME SHIT??? OH WELL WHAT EVER.. I'M STILL WITHIN THE TIME FRAME.... THE NEXT PERSON CHECKS OUT.. AND THEN THE NEXT.. NEXT UP... MOMMY DEAREST AND HER CART-O-SHIT... SHE STARTS UNLOADING THIS WHOLE CART FULL OF NUTHING SPECIAL.. NO EGGS, MILK, MEDICINE, CANDY.. YOU KNOW ALL THE SHIT YOU COME TO WAL-GREENS FOR.. ALL I COULD THINK WAS THAT THIS SCALLY-WAG WAS JUST A LITTLE DIRTY HOARD MONGER.. MIND YOU, THIS BITCH AND I SAY BITCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART SAW ME BEHIND HER WITH THIS LITTLE STANKIN ASS BOTTLE OF OJ AND SAYS NOTHING... AND THEN IT HAPPENS.... THE CASHIER SAYS, "OK MA'AM, THAT WILL BE $312.97... BITCH-HOARD MONGER, "OK HOLD ON A SEC.." SHE REACHES DOWN A PULLS THIS MONSTROSITY OUT OF HER "SATCHEL" THAT I HAD LEFT UN-NOTICED...
YOU THRIFTY DOUCHE BAG BITCH FROM SATAN!!!!!
I COULD NOT BELIEVE THE NUTS ON THIS BITCH!!! THIS EXPERT DOOM'S DAY PREPPER SEES ME AND MY LITTLE JUG OF ORANGES MADE INTO JUICE AND YOU CAN'T SHOW A LITTLE COURTESY?? I GO FROM ZEN TO NUCLEAR FASTER THAN CLAY AIKEN GOES FROM GAY TO ELEPHANT MAN GAY..
"THIS DUDE REALLY EFFING SCARES ME"
BUT WHAT CAN I DO?? I CAN'T SHOW MY ASS BECAUSE IT WILL ONLY GET ME SOME TIME IN THE LEESVILLE CITY LOCKUP, SO WHAT DO I DO... THE ONLY THING A STRESSED OUT, INJURED, PTSD HAVING COMBAT WARRIOR CAN DO...
FUCKING NOTHING...... I SUCK SO BAD.. IN MY MIND I WAS MUD STOMPING THIS BROAD.. REALITY.... I JUST STAND THERE AND ACT LIKE A FUCKING WEAK SAUCE BITCH....( EFF YOU!! I'M WOUNDED!!) AFTER ABOUT 20 MINUTES OF THIS BITCH GETTING HER "DISCOUNTED PRODUCTS" HER TOTAL CAME OUT TO AROUND $90 BUCKS.. SUCH BULLSHIT.. AND I HAD TO PAY FULL PRICE FOR MY DAD'S SHITTY OJ.. I PAID AND LEFT THE STORE, BUT AS FATE WOULD HAVE IT "HOARDER BITCH" WAS STILL LOADING UP HER PRIZES.. AND TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY SHE WAS LOADING HER SHIT INTO THIS..
I MEAN REALLY!?!?! THIS BITCH SHOULD REALLY BE ARRESTED!! I MEAN FEDERAL CHARGES ARRESTED!!
LISTEN, I GOT IT.. THE COUNTRY IS STRUGGLING.. GAS IS ASSHOLE HIGH, MILK AIN'T CHEAP AND DIAPERS ARE BURNING A HOLE IN MY WALLET.. AND NO, I AM NOT USING CLOTH DIAPERS.. THAT IS GROSS AS SHIT FOR REAL AND I CAN'T TAKE IT.. BUT I KNOW PEOPLE ARE HURTING FOR RELIEF.. WITH THAT, PEOPLE THAT NEED COOPS' DO IT... PEOPLE LIKE THIS BITCH THAT DON'T, NEED TO BE BROUGHT IN FRONT OF A FIRING SQUAD.. INSTEAD OF HELPING YOURSELF YOU CHINCHY ASS BAG OF DOUCHE' HELP YOUR FELLOW MAN OR WOMAN THAT IS PROLLY' NOT ROLLIN A BIG DOG, AND EATING RAMON ON THE REG!!! LET'S BE SELFLESS NOT SELFISH... IN CLOSING, I HOPE THIS BROAD HAS 4 FLAT TIRES EVERY MONTH FOR EVER!! I KNOW ITS HARSH BUT I DON'T CARE. SHE RUINED MY WHOLE FUCKING DAY AND IT HAS NEVER LEFT ME.. I TAKE MEDS AND SHIT NOW FOR NIGHTMARES AND THIS GOES DOWN EVERY NIGHT.... I HATE YOU!! I REALLY REALLY DO.....
AS ALWAYS, 100% TRUE AS SHIT!!! UNTIL NEXT TIME....
ONE SHOT, ONE KILL!!
-A SONZ-OF-DADZ PRODUCTION-
