THAT WILL BE $120 EXTRA PER BAG SIR.. WTF!?!?!?

First I want to apologize to everyone who reads my blog.  Its been a while since I've posted and I blame it all on life, being married having a new born, with a 2 year old, LACK OF EFFING SLEEP!, Being a full time sutdent and having a full time job.  "The full-time job piece doesn't really count anymore, but since the miltry' is payin me full time, i'm gonna use it."   Any who, I have been wanting to rant about some ish' I have seen on T.V. for a while, but I just now today found a time slot for it. 

Most of you have been stuck in an airport with a shit ton of luggage at one point or another, wishing your travels did not consist of work.  All you want to do is relax and the airport bar and get smashed while waiting for your flight to board to Bora-Bora....  Yea me too, but instead you end up in a real shitty place in line like this....

I know what you are thinking and feeling at that very second..

THIS IS TOTAL BULLSHIT!!

And the fact that you had to wake up 6 weeks early to endure this madness makes shit 10 times as bad.  So when you finally get to the counter after completeing a 10k with all your "toatable" shit, they ask you to pile all of it on the counter and check you in...  At this point they look at you with the most genuine shit eating grin and say...

"Sir. your luggage is over by 2lbs.... that will be an extra $120 to board the plane."

WHAT THE FAT SHIT DO YOU MEAN, $120 EFFING DOLLARS!!!!

So what your telling me is that my 2 extra pounds of nothing special is gonna cost me a hotel rate?? Is that what your telling me HO' BAG!?!?!

.......yes sir, how would you like to pay for that?

Listen SALLIE MAE, I don't exactly have WELL'S FARGO IN MY EFFING POCKET!!!  And I just witnessed this same shit type plane fly the

SPACE SHUTTLE FUCKING DISCOVERY AROUND THE COUNTRY FOR NO EFFING REASON!!!

AND YOU WANT MONEY FROM ME!?!?! 

"WELL SIR, IF YOU WANT TO BOARD THIS PLANE IT WILL BE $120 FOR YOU LUGGAGE.." SORRY AIRLINE POLICY..

What kind of scam is this.. The fact that they can scalp "YOUR" luggage for its travel for being a smiggen' over weight is utter horse shit!!!  You can fly a 300,000 pounds hunk of turbine shit around for people to see and then hit middle america with this kind of atrocity should deem federal lock-up time!  I call total bullshit!  But all you can do is pay the cost, because if you get loud in the terminal, they put you on the terrorist watch list, and you get fisted by the airport security....

HMMM.... maybe its not such a bad job after all..lol!!! 

In closing, I feel that our country is ass backwards these days... freedoms are becoming limited, we as americans are being micro-managed by government agencies, and its messing with our bottom dollar.  Its hard to get ahead when the MAN Is always in your pocket, and in your girlfriends pants..  I think we need a new start because damn if im gonna drive across country again because of some EFFING LUGGAGE!!!  

AS ALWAYS, 100% TRUE AS SHIT!!

ONE SHOT, ONE KILL!!

THE BADDEST DUDE ON ROLLER SKATES YOU NEVER HEARD OF..

BACK IN MY DAY ROLLING ON SKATES WITH YOUR HOMEYS WAS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS!  IT WAS ALWAYS ABOUT WHO COULD DO THE MOST FUNKY FRESH TRICKS AND WHO COULD GET THE MOST SPEED AROUND THE "RINK' WITH THE LEAST AMOUNT OF ASS BUSTING. I COULD DEF. HOLD MY OWN AND WAS ALWAYS ONE OF THE LAST COOL MUTHA' EFFERS LEFT IN THE HOKEY POKEY CIRCLE. 

BA'LEEDDAT!!!

I WILL SAY THOUGH, I NEVER REACHED MY TRUE POTENTIAL IN THE SPORT.  YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT I AM GONNA BLAME 2 PEOPLE FOR MY LACK OF PERFORMANCE AND MY RISE TO "ROLLER RINK" HALL-O-FAME STATUS; MY MOTHER AND THE 35 YEAR OLD "PEDY" THAT WORKED, LIVED, ATE, SHIT AND SLEPT UNDER THE DISCO BALL.. (YOU SHITTY SHITTY HUMAN).  THERE ARE 2 PHASES OF FAILURE HERE SO I WILL START WITH THE LEAST OF THE 2 FAILURES...... MOM

MOM

BACK IN THE DAY MOM AND DAD WORKED FULL TIME JOBS AS MOST PARENTS DID.  I WAS 8 GOING ON 28 AND THOUGHT THAT I NEEDED 0 SUPERVISION.. MOM AND OLE DAD THOUGHT OTHER WISE.  SO INSTEAD OF BEING A "LATCH KEY" KID, MOM PUT ME AND MY BROTHER IN DAYCARE AFTER SCHOOL AND DURING THE SUMMER.. DURING SCHOOL WAS LAME SAUCE BUT DURING THE SUMMER IT GOT PRETTY GANGSTER AT THE KINDER-KARE.  WE WOULD GO ON LITTLE FIELD TRIPS AND SHIT. THE MOVIES, CHUCKY-CHEESES AND THE ROLLER RINK..  I HAD ALWAYS BEEN PRETTY GOOD ON MY FEET AND QUICK AS SHIT ERY'DAY.. I HAD TO DUCK MY DAD FROM BEATINGS THAT I DESERVED SO I KEPT MY SHIT HELLA QUICK.. IT PAID BIG TIME ON THE ROLLER WHEELS.. ANY WHO, BECAUSE EVERYBODY IN THE 80'S, OR AT LEAST MY FAMILY'S WALLET WAS LOCKED UP TIGHT... WHAT THAT MEANS IS TOM-TOM DOESN'T GET TOP OF THE LINE EQUIPMENT TO SHOW OFF HIS SKILLS... KINDA LIKE THAT K-MART SHIT I TALKED ABOUT A MONTH AGO.  INSTEAD MY ROLLER SKATE RENTALS LOOKED LIKE THIS.....

I'M 8 YEARS OLD AT THE TIME, FASHION IS NOT AT THE TOP OF MY LIST OF THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT AND ITS DARK AT THE ROLLER RINK.WITH ONLY THE SPARKLE OF THE DISCO BALL  I AM STILL SCREAMING

TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT!!

 BECAUSE I KNEW JUST FROM THE BIG ASS WEAK FUCKING STOPPER ON THE FRONT THAT I WAS GONNA BE POSING HARD CORE.  I WAS SO MAD AT THE FACT THAT I WAS GONNA BE LOOKING LIKE A COMPLETE RAGING BONER GLIDING AROUND THE OVAL OF SPEED WITH SOME TAN HOOPTY CLASSICS!! BUT WHAT COULD I DO?  NOT SKATE AND GRADUATE TO TOTAL ASS CLOWN AND GET MADE FUN OF OVER  THE ROLLER RINK DJ MICROPHONE.. HELL TO THE HELL EFFING NO SON!! LETS DO THIS..

OH AND BY THE WAY, WE WERE DOING THAT COSMIC SKATING SHIT WELL BEFORE THE BOWLING POSERS ON FRIDAY EVER DREAMED IT A REALITY!!! BOOM!! OWNED BOWLING TERDS!!.

FOR THE SAKE OF KEEPING THIS AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE, I RULED ON SKATES.. AND SO YOU KNOW IF YOU DON'T ALREADY.. THE UPGRADE TO KILLER ASS SPEED SKATES WERE $1.. DO YOU KNOW WHAT 4 QUARTERS GOT YOU ON THE SKATING RINK??

TOTAL FUCKING SUPREMACY!!

THAT'S RIGHT YA'LL.. THESE BAD MUTHA FUCKERS HERE!! THESE BEASTS ON WHEELS WERE QUICK AS SHIT AND SUPER SWEET UNDER SOME BLACK LIGHT ACTION!! I KNOW YOU PEOPLE FEEL ME ON THIS!!! RIGHT?? AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, I HAVE YET TO PUT ONE SINGLE EFFING PINKY TOE IN A PAIR OF THESE ROLLER ROCKETS!! 1 DOLLAR MOM, JUST 1 DOLLAR AND I COULD HAVE BEEN IMMORTAL!! AND YOU FAILED ME... SO SO FUCKING SAD... THX FOR KEEPING ME AVERAGE AS SHIT MOM.. THAT WAS FAIL#1..

#2 FAIL: 35 YR OLD ROLLER PHENOM

LISTEN PEOPLE, IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN TO JUST THE ENTRANCE DOOR OF A "SKATING RINK", YOU HAVE SEEN THIS ASS-HOLE DOING HOT LAPS AROUND 3 YEAR OLD TODDLERS LIKE APOLLO FUCKING ONO!! HE IS SUCH A CREEP BUT HE IS SO FUCKING AMAZING AT THE SAME TIME...

ITS SUCH BULLSHIT..  I MEAN HE'S GOT THE SPEED SKATES, THE WIND SUIT, AND THE BALANCE OF A CRANE!! AND THE BEST YOU CAN DO IS BLAST AROUND LITTLE KIDS AND SHOW THEM HOW BAD THEY SUCK AT YOUR FULL TIME OCCUPATION? REALLY.  AND CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHY THIS BAG OF DOUCHE LINES UP FOR THE RACES WITH LITTLE KIDS DURING THE GAMES PORTION OF SKATING TIMES!?!?!?

THIS FUCKING WORM WAS THE ONLY REASON I EVER LOST  THE SUPER SPEED MAD DASH RACE, THE LIMBO, THE SUPER DUPER TRAIN GAME AND THE MUTHA FUCKING HOKEY FUCKING POKEY!!!! YOU TOOK ALL THE PRIDE THAT I HAD WHEN I WAS 8 YEARS OLD AT THE ROLLER RINK YOU HEARTLESS, UNEDUCATED, HOMELESS TRACK SUIT WEARING, SPEED SKATE HAVING PEDOPHILE FROM PLANET "I'M BETTER THAN EVERY KID AT SKATING"!!!

AND TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY YOU HAD THESE TYPES OF "COOL" MUTHER FUCKERS THAT WOULD COME IN LOOKING LIKE PANAMA JACK TO JUST "CHILL" AND LET OFF SOME STEAM..

TO YOU SIR I SAY, THE ONLY COOL YOU HAVE IS THOSE SWEET ASS SPEED SKATES THAT MAKE YOU WAY BETTER THAN YOU REALLY ARE..  YOU COULD REALLY LOOK AT SPEED SKATE LIKE STEROIDS AND HGH.. ITS TRUE!! THEY INCREASE EVERY SKATING CAPABILITY BY ATLEAST 30%.. 

IN CLOSING I HAVE SINCE PUT AWAY ANY GRANDURE OF BEING A ROLLER SKATING MARVEL... OH, I CAN STILL GET BUSY ON THEM, I KNOW IT IN MY HEART.. BUT I DON'T THINK I WILL TEST THE WATERS.. THESE 2 DUDES ARE PROLLY STILL THERE KILLIN IT ON THE REG.!!  AND NO, I DO NOT, WILL NOT, OR HAVE NOT USED, PROMOTED OR SUGGESTED TO ANYONE TO EVER GET IN A PAIR OF ROLLER BLADES.....I THINK ITS WAY TOO UN-ORIGINAL... AND PEOPLE START ACTING REALLY FUCKING STUPID WHEN YOUR WHEELS ARE IN A STRAIGHT ASS LINE!!

AS ALWAYS, 100% TRUE AS SHIT!!

UNTIL NEXT TIME.....

ONE SHOT, ONE KILL!!

a-sonz-of-dadz- production-

K-MART = SATAN'S FASHION RUNWAY.

IF ANYONE TELLS YOU THAT SCHOOL AT ANY LEVEL IS NOT A FASHION SHOW THEY ARE FUCKING LYING TO YOU AND ARE PROLLY YOUR PARENTS!! 

MY WHOLE LIFE REVOLVED AROUND THE SCHOOL SALES AT THE "KRAP-MART" DURING MY WONDER YEARS.  AND LET ME TELL YOU THAT WHEN I HAD TO GO THERE WITH MY MOM TO GET MY SCHOOL DUDS,  I WAS NOT HAPPY IN THE LEAST BIT.  I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS, WHEN YOU WERE A KID IN GRADE SCHOOL THE LAST PLACE YOU WANTED TO GET AT WAS THE EFF-ING KRAP-MART!!  BUT WHAT WAS I TO DO?? TELL MOMMY THAT I WASN'T GONNA WEAR THAT BULLSHIT?? NO, NO I THINK NOT.. I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE RETARD SMACKED OUT OF ME FOR ACTING LIKE I WAS TOO GOOD FOR THERE QUALITY SCHOOL CLOTHES BRAND OF SHIT ON A HANGER.. AND FOR THE RECORD MOM.... I WAS FUCKING TOO GOOD!! THEIR CLOTHES BLEW MAD HORSE "D".. THERE I SAID IT AFTER 28 YEARS OF REPRESSION.. ANYWAYS, I HAD TO MAKE A GAME OUT OF GOING THERE.. AND THE BEST I COULD THINK OF AT THE TIME WAS PLAYING G.I. FUCKING JOE AROUND THE CLOTHING AND WEAR MASKS AND SHIT HOPING NO ONE EVER SAW ME..

IT WAS SERIOUS BUSINESS FOR ME WHEN I KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE ABUSED "FASHIONABLY" IN THE KRAP-MART. 

THIS PLACE REALLY SCREWED ME UP BIG TIME AT SCHOOL.. I MEAN IF I COULD TELL THAT THE CLOTHES WERE SUSPECT AT SHIT, THEN I KNEW THAT ALL OF MY FRIENDS WOULD TOO. AND SURE AS SHIT.. THEY DID.. WHO PAYED FOR IT?? ME MOM!! ME!!  THE CLOTHING IS SO BAD THERE THAT THE FABRIC IN WHICH ALL OF IT IS MADE WITH IS EVEN WEIRD AND SHITTY.. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SHITTY PIECE OF CLOTHING THAT HAD THIS WEIRD SHIMMER TO IT? YOU KNOW, THE KIND OF SHIMMER THAT SAYS, " BUY ME BECAUSE I GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO APPARENT FUCKING REASON AND CAN BE USED TO SAFELY CROSS THE STREET IN THE DESERT TYPE SHIMMER? YEA, YOU PROLLY GOT IT FROM THE BIG "K".  AND NO MATTER HOW OLD YOU ARE YOU ALWAYS COME OUT WEARING THIS SHIT..

REALLY MOM... I WAS 15...  AND WHY THE FUCKING HAT MOM.. AND SORRY BUT A VEST.? NO FUCKING THANKS.. THIS IS WHAT I FELT LIKE 5 OUT OF THE 7 DAYS DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR.. ON THE WEEK-ENDS I WOULD RUN AROUND IN A CUT OFF CAR WASH RAG SHIRT AND SWIM TRUNKS BECAUSE IT WAS THE SWEETEST MOST VINTAGE GEAR I HAD. (SO SAD). 

YOU WOULD THINK THAT CHUCK TAYLOR ALL-STARS WERE SUPER CHEAP TO BUY.. CUZ THEY WERE AND STILL ARE.. CHUCKS ARE TIMELESS.. I STILL GOT SOME OF THEM JOINTS. BUT DO YOU THINK FOR A HOT FUCKING SECOND THAT I HAD CHUCK TAYLOR ALL-STARS GROWING UP? HELL TO THE HELL HELL HELL FUCKING NO!! I HAD THESE OFF BRAND BULLSHIT POSER THINGS CALLED ALL-TRACKS!!

MOM:  "BUT THEY LOOK JUST LIKE THE REGULAR ONES HONEY. NO ONE WILL EVER NOTICE."

PISSED OFF AS SHIT ME: HORSE SHIT MOM!!! EVERYBODY IS GONNA CLOWN ME RIGHT OUT OF THE SCHOOL!! EVERYONE WILL KNOW THAT THESE ARE BUSTED ASS POSER SNEAKS!!

MOM: "HOW ARE THEY REALLY GONNA KNOW? THEY LOOK JUST LIKE THEM. AND STOP CURSING." WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE 15/"

PISSED OFF AS SHIT ME: BECAUSE THEY ARE JEAN FUCKING SHOES WITH RIPS AND SHIT!!! OH AND THERE IS NOT A BIG ASS STAR THAT SAYS , CHUCK FUCKING TAYLOR ALL-STARS!!!.  AND YES MOM, I AM 15 FOR REAL ASS YEARS OLD!!!"

MOM: "WELL ITS NOT A FASHION SHOW, SO UNTIL YOU ARE BUYING YOUR OWN CLOTHES AND SHOES THIS IS WHAT YOU FATHER AND I THINK YOU NEED.  SUCH AN UNGRATEFUL TEENAGER!" YOU'RE LUCKING YOUR GETTING THIS.. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD TO WEAR ON MY FEET FOR SCHOOL?  THAT'S RIGHT YOU DON'T, BECAUSE WE HAD TO MAKE WHAT WE WORE!! I WORE ROPE SANDALS TO SCHOOL MOST OF THE TIME. SO JUST SAY THANK YOU AND GET IN THE CAR!!"

PISSED OFF AS SHIT ME: "OH YEA, YOU MADE YOUR OWN SHOES? DID YOU MAKE THESE RAGGETY' MUTHER FUCKERS MOM?? CAUSE IF YOU DID... FAIL.. AND BY THE WAY "JESUS" I DIDN'T KNOW ROPE SANDALS WERE IN BACK THEN.. I'M SURE THE TREK WAS LONG AND UP-HILL BOTH WAYS FOR YA...

MOM: "SHUT YOU SMART ASS MOUTH!!

ME: "FUCK, I HATE MY LIFE."

AFTER THAT DAY, I WAS THE FIRST 16 YEAR OLD LOOKING FOR A JOB.  AND WHEN I DID, I HAD A GANG FULL OF SHOES.. MAINLY CUZ I WORKED AT RACK ROOM SHOES AND GOT HELLA DISCOUNTS.. MY DAD EVEN GOT PISSED BECAUSE EVERY PAYDAY I HAD SOME FRESH NIKE'S ON.  HE ASK ME IF I HAD BEEN STEALIN'? HELL NO, I BUY THESE WITH MY MONEY, CUZ I WONT EVER PUT THOSE STANKIN ASS ALL-TRACKS ON EVER AGAIN!  TALK ABOUT SCARRED FOR LIFE. 

HEY I GOT IT, THINGS ARE HARD AND YOU DO THE BEST TO PUT CLOTHES AND FOOD ON  YOUR KIDS BACK AND ON THE TABLE.. AND FOR THAT I APPRECIATE WHAT MOM AND DAD DID FOR ME AND MY BROTHER, BUT DAMN..... CAN I DUDE JUST GET SOME FRESH GEAR THAT DON'T SMELL LIKE MOTH BALLS??

REMEMBER FOLKS AND FRIENDS THAT READ THIS. K-MART IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN. EVERYTHING IN THERE IS HEXED AND CURSED!! IF YOU GOTTA PINCH PENNIES, TAKE YO' ASS TO TARGET OR OLD FUCKING NAVY!! YOU CAN GET A GANG OF SHIT FOR LITTLE TO NO MONEY I EVEN THINK THEY HAVE COOPS' AND SHIT.. AND IF YOU WANT TO REALLY STEP UP YOUR CLOTHING GAME TO NEW HEIGHTS... GO MAKE IT RAIN IN MARSHAL'S...

SUPER CHEAP, NAME BRAND JOINTS THAT KEEP YOU FEELING FUNKY FRESH ON ANY GIVEN DAY!! SO WHAT IF A SLEEVE IS ALITTLE SHORTER THAN THE OTHER... AT LEAST THAT SHIT SAYS RALPH LAUREN!!!

                                                

                                                  AS ALWAYS 100% REAL ASS SHIT!!!

ONE SHOT, ONE KILL!!

-SONZ-OF-DADZ-PRODUCTION-



NINJA TURTLES, HOOKER DRESSES AND CHURCH DON'T MIX!

WHEN YOU SEE THIS PICTURE DO YOU THINK OF JESUS?? YEA ME NEITHER.. LATELY I FEEL LIKE THIS IS WHAT I SEE AT CHURCH.. I MEAN NO ONE IS HATING ON THE FACT THAT YOU NEED SOME "JC" IN YOUR LIFE BUT PUT SOME EFFING CLOTHES ON!! I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE SO HYPOCRITICAL BUT I CAN'T FUCKING HELP IT.  HERE IN LOUISIANA IT IS ALREADY A BILLION DEGREES, I'M SWEATING LIKE 2 RATS FUCKING IN A WOOL SOCK, AND I SWEAR MY CHURCH IS TRYING TO BOIL THE SIN OUT OF ME..  WELL, I'M SAVED BY THE GRACE OF GOD AND WEARING THE PROPER CHURCH GEAR SO LETS START WORKING ON THESE SILLY ASS MONKEY'S...MMM'K.. IT HAS BECOME A RUNNING JOKE BETWEEN MY WIFE AND I AND ON OCCASION ANOTHER FRIEND CHIMES IN ON THE "I WANT TO DRESS LIKE A TOTAL HOOKER CLUB IN CHURCH" GAME.  IT SO FUNNY THAT WE HAVE A GAGGLE OF PEOPLE THAT SHOW UP AND ACT LIKE EVERYTHING IS HUNKY DOREY.. BUT MY GROUP OF 3 CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONES THAT SEE IT. OR ARE WE??  SO HERE WE GO..

1.  THERE IS THIS DUDE THAT SHOWS UP TO CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY IN THE SAME "JORTS" BUT ROTATES HIS CLASSIEST SHORT SLEEVE BUTTON UP.  I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS"FELLA" GETS THESE THINGS BUT HE NEEDS AN INTERVENTION.. AND BY THAT I MEAN STICKING A SHOTGUN IN HIS DICK SUCKER AND PULLING BOTH TRIGGERS.. ITS REALLY RETARDED.. SEE...

I MEAN, ARE YOU GETTING READY TO POWER THE FUCK UP?  DID GOKU TELL YOU TO WHERE HIS SHIT OR HE WAS GONNA KICK YOUR ASS TO THE MOON?? I THINK NOT.. BUT THATS NOT THE END.. THIS DUDE WEARS NINJA TURTLES TOO.  AREN'T YOU LIKE 50 OR SOME SHIT??!?!

LETS JUST GO NUTS AND DRESS LIKE MASTER SPLINTER..I'M SURE THE "SHREDDER" WILL PRESENT HIMSELF DURING THE NEXT BAPTISM AND YOU CAN GET YOUR KUNG FOOEY ON WITH HIM..

BUT AFTER ALL THE CLOWN SHIT THIS GUY DOES, ITS SO SAD THAT HE'S NOT THE WORST. 

2. THESE YOUNG FEMALES COME TO CHURCH LOOKING LIKE THEY ARE ABOUT TO

DROP DROP DROP-IT TO THA' FLOW'!

ITS A TRIP THAT SOME OLD TIMERS HAVEN'T DROPPED DEAD WHILE TAKING THE OFFERING.. ITS CRAZY TO ME THAT THESE LITTLE TEENY-BOPPERS THINK THIS IS HOW YOU GET CLOSER TO JESUS... HERE'S A HINT BOO-BOO....

PUT YOUR TITTIES UP AND GET SOME PANTS !!!

I KNOW EVERYONE SAYS, "BLAME THE PARENTS".. BUT GUESS WHAT, THE PARENTS AREN'T EVEN AT CHURCH, SO GO FIGURE.. YOU WOULD THINK THAT THERE WOULD BE A DUDE AT THE FRONT DOOR OR A SIGN THAT SAYS....

BUT WHO AM I TO MAKE CHANGES RIGHT?? I PAY MY MONEY TO THE "BUILDING FUND" SO I SHOULD BE HAPPY. OH WELL...

I KNOW I AM NOT SOUNDING LIKE A TYPICAL GUY WHAT SO EVER.. AND 6 OUT OF THE 7 DAYS OF THE WEEK I WOULDN'T SAY SHIT. BUT IF I CAN GET MY SLACKS AND TIE STRAIGHT FOR 1 HOUR A DAY THE G-O-D, WELL I THINK YOU CAN PUT YOUR DRAGON BALLZ AND NINJA SWORDS BACK IN YOUR TONKA TRUCK HOME SKILLET!  AND LADIES JUST A TEST FOR YOU.... IF A DUDE CAN SEE YOUR ENTIRE "SNATCH" FROM 100 FT AWAY AS HE'S DRIVING DOWN AN INTERSTATE IN HIS "BIG MUTHA TRUCKER", MAYBE YOU SHOULD BRING A BACK UP OUTFIT.. 

SO IN CLOSING.. WEIRDO DUDE THAT GOES TO MY CHURCH WITH RETARDED SHIRTS, JUST WHERE A REGULAR ASS SHIRT OR I'M GONNA HIT YOU WITH A HYMN BOOK!! LITTLE GIRLS WITH YOUR CASH AND PRIZES OUT FOR THE OFFERING PLATE. I DON'T THINK YOUR "OFFERING" IS GONNA GO FAR IN TERMS OF PUTTING A NEW DOOR KNOB ON THE FRONT DOOR OF THE CHURCH.. JUS SAYIN.. COVER UP YOUR POOTY-POO FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! YOUR GONNA GIVE THOSE OLD DUDES HEART FAILURE.

AS ALWAYS, 100% TRUE AS SHIT!! TIL' NEXT TIME.

ONE SHOT, ONE KILL!!

-SONZ-OF-DADZ-PRODUCTION-

YOU WILL NEVER BE DOMINIC TORETTO FROM FAST AND FURIOUS!

I LOVE THE MOVIES!! I AM ONE OF THOSE RETARDS THAT WILL GO AND STAND IN A MILE LONG LINE AND SQEEZE MY BIG ASS INTO A SMEDIUM' SEAT JUST TO CATCH A NEW RELEASE..  I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT A "FLICK SHOW" THAT GETS ME SO WORKED UP.. BUT I LOVE THEM.  MOST MEN ARE THE SAME AND ITS A STANDARD PART OF THE "FIRST DATE" SO JUST DEAL WITH IT LADIES.  BUT WHAT I REALLY CAN'T EFFING' STAND ARE LOCAL GOONS" DRESSING UP OR ACTING LIKE THE CHARACTER'S IN THE MOVIE.. I MEAN REALLY?? COME ON DAWG..  YOU ARE MAKING US GUYS LOOK REAL FUCKING BAD..  THE FUNNIEST INSTANCE I CAN THINK OF WENT SOMETHING LIKE THIS....  2 FAST 2 FURIOUS HIT THE BIG SCREEN AND PEOPLE LOST THEIR SHIT.. INCLUDING ME.. I AM A SUPER HUGE FAN OF CARS AND MOVIE CARS.  SO OF COURSE I WENT TO SEE A DECENT MOVIE WITH SUPER DOPE ASS CARS!!.  WELL, GUESS WHAT WHAT HAPPENING IN THE PARKING LOT OF THE GRAND OLE' LEESVILLE CINEMA 6.. YOU GUESSED IT.....

RICER' NATION DOING THEIR BEST RENDITION OF TOKYO FUCKING DRIFT!!.  GIVE ME A GODDAMNED' BREAK!!  THIS MAKES ME SO MAD.. THESE "D" BAGGERS TOTALLY RUIN ANY CHANCE OF SEEING A MOVIE WITHOUT GETTING RIDICULED.  NEWS FLASH BOY RACERS.......
NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR SHITTY 4-BANGER WITH DUMP TRUCK EXHAUST PIPES!!
ANYTIME A NEW VERSION OF THE MOVIE OR A RE-RUN COMES ON I NEVER HEAR THE END OF THE GAYNESS FROM MY WIFE.. THANKS DICKS..  ANYWAYS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT MOVIES... I MEAN YOU GO IN TO WATCH A QUALITY SHOW... 2.5 HOURS LATER MEN COME OUT OF THE SHOW AND SWEAR TO THE GOD'S THAT THEY ARE THE INCREDIBLE FUCKING HULK OR SOME SHIT.. GUESS WHAT HOMBRE'. YOUR NOT GREEN, YOUR ANGER IS SUSPECT, DEF. NEED WAY MORE TIME AT THE WEIGHT PILE AND OH ONE MORE THING.......  YOUR NOT FROM THE MARVEL FUCKING UNIVERSE!!!

JUST WATCH THE FUCKING MOVIE AND GO HOME!!! STOP BEING A RAGING BONER IN PUBLIC!!

LADIES, I GIVE IT TO YOU.. WE ARE DUMB ANIMALS.. MANIPULATED BY THE SMALLEST OF THINGS.. I HAVE NEVER SEEN A CHICK ENTER OR LEAVE A MOVIE THEATRE IN ANYMORE OR ANY LESS CLOTHING.... EVER!  IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT SHE'S NOT THINKING ABOUT "MAGIC MIKE" WHEN SHE LEAVE WITH YOU OR HER GIRLS.  BUT I ASSURE YOU I HAVE NEVER HEARD OR SEEN THIS..

MOVIE CHICK: WOW, STAR WARS WAS THE SHIT!! I THINK I'M GONNA JUST PUT MY VAG ON DISPLAY FOR YOU AND ROCK THE SHIT OUT OF MY STORM TROOPER UNI-TARD"

SORRY GUYS NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN, YOU WOULD THINK SHE IS A TOTAL WHACK JOB AND DISCARD HER AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVIENCE.  I JUST NEED MEN TO ACT A LITTLE MORE LIKE MEN AND NOT LITTLE FUCKING KIDS COMING OUT OF THE NEW NINJA TURTLE ANIMATED FULL LENGTH..

OH AND THIS BROAD DOES NOT SPEAK FOR THE FEMALE DEMOGRAPHIC... SHE IS OBVIOUSLY DISABLED AND SUFFERING FROM DEMENTIA.  I WILL SAY THAT I HAVE FALLEN PREY TO THIS DISEASE JUST ONCE.. BUT I WILL SAY I HAD AN EXCUSE.. I HAD BEEN HOME FROM COMBAT LIKE A WEEK, SO I WAS STILL IN THE ZONE CHIEF!! WELL ME, LACEY AND GARRISON WERE OUT ON THE TOWN AND WE WENT TO SEE 300..

OH MY EFFING GOD!!!!

SAY WHAT YOU WILL, BUT I AM TOTALLY SURPRISED THAT LEESVILLE DIDN'T END UP LIKE SOUTH CENTRAL AFTER THE L.A. RIOTS!!  IF I WOULD HAVE HAD A LOIN CLOTH AND A CAPE, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN DONE SON!!! I THINK ROBBIE AND MYSELF CAME OUT OF THE THEATRE AND BEGAN TO ROMAN GRECO WRESTLE!! NO SHIT!! IT WAS THE MOST INTENSE MOVIE EXPERIENCE I HAVE EVER HAD. AND TO MAKE MATTERS BETTER (WAY FUCKING WORSE)  WE WENT TO THE LOCAL WATERING HOLE AND DRANK OUR FUCKING ASSES TO OBLIVION!! AND THE WHOLE BAR APPARENTLY CAME FROM THE SAME SHOW, BECAUSE IT WAS NOTHING BUT DUDES TAKING SHOTS AND YELLING...

THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!!

IT WAS CRAZY! MY BOY GARRISON IS NOT THE EMBODIMENT OF PHYSICAL STRENGTH OR STATURE BUT I WILL BE DAMNED IF HE DIDN'T RIP OF A CAST IRON FENCE SPIKE FROM THE COVERED PATIO AND WIELD WILDLY  AROUND LIKE A DICK CLOTHED AMAZON DESERT WARRIOR OF OLD.!! IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME.. MY WIFE EVEN THOUGHT SO.. 

SO LISTEN, GUYS, IN THIS INSTANCE ITS COOL TO BE COO-COO FOR COCO PUFFS.. BUT FOR GOD SAKES DON'T TAKE YOUR GIRL, WIFE, HOE, BOYFRIEND OR PET TO SEE SOME SHIT LIKE MAGIC MIKE AND COME OUT IN THE PARKING LOT WITH YOUR DICKAGE ALL OUT AND SWANGIN' IN THE WIND.. PROLLY GONNA GET YOU IN THE POKEY WITH A REAL DICK SWINGER BY THE NAME OF LITTLE NUC' NUC' READY TO SHOW YOU WHAT A REAL GOOD TIME FEELS LIKE IN LOCK-UP.. JUST A WARNING..

AS ALWAYS, 100% REAL AS SHIT!!

ONE SHOT, ONE KILL!!

-A SONZ-OF-DADZ-PRODUCTION-

COUPON CLUB = FU@%^ YOU!!!!!

SO I REALLY HATE THIS..  AND I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO SAY IT.  I MEAN I DO BUT I'M TRYING TO BE A BETTER PERSON. (KIND OF)  BUT THIS REALLY CHAPS EVERY BIT OF MY ASS!  AND THESE DAYS MY ASS IS BIGGER WITH EVERY BREATH, SO YOU DO THE MATH. (I JUST STARTED DIETING... EFF YOU!!)  MY BEEF WITH THE FUCKING COUPON IS SIMPLY THIS... THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR EVERYTHING.. EXAMPLES OF "TIME" AND "PLACE" WHERE A COUPON WOULD BE DEEMED ACCEPTABLE WOULD BE A STRIPPER CLUB.. ALL MEN AGREE.. IF I CAN GET HALF OFF DRINKS AT THE STRIPPER CLUB.... SCORE.. CUZ' THAT SHIT IS WAY TO HIGH AND I KNOW THE OWNER IS TRYING TO OFFSET HIS COST BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE MY DOLLA'S TO STRIPPER CHICKS.. 2ND PLACE TO DEEM A COUPON APPROPRIATE IS AT A DINING ESTABLISHMENT.. IF I CAN GET GOOD FOOD FOR SOMETHING MORE THAN MY MILITARY OR SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNT.  BOOM!! I'M GONNA HIT THEM WITH A COOP'!! FELLA'S BEWARE OF THE SUBWAY THOUGH... THEY GOT SOME CRAZY ASS COOPS' THERE.. WOMEN..... FEEL FREE....

AGAIN, FELLAS' BEWARE!! DON'T GET CAUGHT OUT BACK OF A SUBWAY.. CUZ ERY'BODY KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND THE YOUR "CLOSET DOOR" JUST GOT KICKED OF ITS HINGES.. JUST A WARNING. 

SO MY DISGUST WITH THE "COUPON" OFFICIALLY BEGAN A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO.. I HAD JUST RETURNED HOME FROM BROOKE ARMY MEDICAL CENTER IN TEXAS AND MY WIFE AND I WERE AT MY PARENTS HOUSE. I THINK WE WERE STAYING THE NIGHT OR SOMETHING.  ANYWAYS, I WAS GOING INTO TOWN FOR SOMETHING AND MY DAD ASKED IF I WOULD STOP AND GET SOME OJ.. EASY ENOUGH, SURE DAD, I CAN DO THAT..I JUMPED IN OUR "HO".. (CHEVY TAHOE) AND TURNED ON THE BEST OF CULTURE CLUB ON PANDORA.. A REAL HEAD BANGER... (I LIKE 80'S JAMS.... SO WHAT)  I FIGURE SATURDAY AT WAL-MART IS NOT FOR ME SO I TELL MYSELF THAT "WAL-GREENS" IS THE ANSWER.. BOOM!! QUICK IN-AND-OUT, AND I'M BACK AT THE CASA' IN 20 MINUTES...... I BUST IN THE "GREENS" GRAB OJ MINUS WHITE FORD BRONCO..

AND I'M SET!!!

AS I GET IN A VERY SHORT LINE OF 3 PEOPLE I'M THINKING TO MYSELF.."SELF" THIS BROAD IN FRONT OF ME HAS A GANG OF SHIT IN HER CART... WHY DIDN'T SHE TAKE HER THRIFTY ASS TO WAL-MART OR THE DOLLA STO' OR SOME SHIT??? OH WELL WHAT EVER.. I'M STILL WITHIN THE TIME FRAME.... THE NEXT PERSON CHECKS OUT.. AND THEN THE NEXT.. NEXT UP... MOMMY DEAREST AND HER CART-O-SHIT... SHE STARTS UNLOADING THIS WHOLE CART FULL OF NUTHING SPECIAL.. NO EGGS, MILK, MEDICINE, CANDY.. YOU KNOW ALL THE SHIT YOU COME TO WAL-GREENS FOR..  ALL I COULD THINK WAS THAT THIS SCALLY-WAG WAS JUST A LITTLE DIRTY HOARD MONGER.. MIND YOU, THIS BITCH AND I SAY BITCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART SAW ME BEHIND HER WITH THIS LITTLE STANKIN ASS BOTTLE OF OJ AND SAYS NOTHING... AND THEN IT HAPPENS.... THE CASHIER SAYS, "OK MA'AM, THAT WILL BE $312.97... BITCH-HOARD MONGER, "OK HOLD ON A SEC.."  SHE REACHES DOWN A PULLS THIS MONSTROSITY OUT OF HER "SATCHEL" THAT I HAD LEFT UN-NOTICED...

YOU THRIFTY DOUCHE BAG BITCH FROM SATAN!!!!!

I COULD NOT BELIEVE THE NUTS ON THIS BITCH!!!  THIS EXPERT DOOM'S DAY PREPPER SEES ME AND MY LITTLE JUG OF ORANGES MADE INTO JUICE AND YOU CAN'T SHOW A LITTLE COURTESY?? I GO FROM ZEN TO NUCLEAR FASTER THAN CLAY AIKEN GOES FROM GAY TO ELEPHANT MAN GAY..

"THIS DUDE REALLY EFFING SCARES ME"

BUT WHAT CAN I DO?? I CAN'T SHOW MY ASS BECAUSE IT WILL ONLY GET ME SOME TIME IN THE LEESVILLE CITY LOCKUP, SO WHAT DO I DO... THE ONLY THING A STRESSED OUT, INJURED, PTSD HAVING COMBAT WARRIOR CAN DO...

FUCKING NOTHING...... I SUCK SO BAD.. IN MY MIND I WAS MUD STOMPING THIS BROAD.. REALITY.... I JUST STAND THERE AND ACT LIKE A FUCKING WEAK SAUCE BITCH....( EFF YOU!! I'M WOUNDED!!)  AFTER ABOUT 20 MINUTES OF THIS BITCH GETTING HER "DISCOUNTED PRODUCTS" HER TOTAL CAME OUT TO AROUND $90 BUCKS.. SUCH BULLSHIT.. AND I HAD TO PAY FULL PRICE FOR MY DAD'S SHITTY OJ.. I PAID AND LEFT THE STORE, BUT AS FATE WOULD HAVE IT "HOARDER BITCH" WAS STILL LOADING UP HER PRIZES..  AND TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY SHE WAS LOADING HER SHIT INTO THIS..

I MEAN REALLY!?!?! THIS BITCH SHOULD REALLY BE ARRESTED!! I MEAN FEDERAL CHARGES ARRESTED!! 

LISTEN, I GOT IT.. THE COUNTRY IS STRUGGLING.. GAS IS ASSHOLE HIGH, MILK AIN'T CHEAP AND DIAPERS ARE BURNING A HOLE IN MY WALLET.. AND NO, I AM NOT USING CLOTH DIAPERS.. THAT IS GROSS AS SHIT FOR REAL AND I CAN'T TAKE IT..  BUT I KNOW PEOPLE ARE HURTING FOR RELIEF.. WITH THAT, PEOPLE THAT NEED COOPS' DO IT... PEOPLE LIKE THIS BITCH THAT DON'T, NEED TO BE BROUGHT IN FRONT OF A FIRING SQUAD..  INSTEAD OF HELPING YOURSELF YOU CHINCHY ASS BAG OF DOUCHE' HELP YOUR FELLOW MAN OR WOMAN THAT IS PROLLY' NOT ROLLIN A BIG DOG, AND EATING RAMON ON THE REG!!!   LET'S BE SELFLESS NOT SELFISH... IN CLOSING, I HOPE THIS BROAD HAS 4 FLAT TIRES EVERY MONTH FOR EVER!! I KNOW ITS HARSH BUT I DON'T CARE. SHE RUINED MY WHOLE FUCKING DAY AND IT HAS NEVER LEFT ME.. I TAKE MEDS AND SHIT NOW FOR NIGHTMARES AND THIS GOES DOWN EVERY NIGHT.... I HATE YOU!! I REALLY REALLY DO.....

AS ALWAYS, 100% TRUE AS SHIT!!! UNTIL NEXT TIME....

ONE SHOT, ONE KILL!!

-A SONZ-OF-DADZ PRODUCTION-

I WANT TO TAKE "BLUE" AND ALL HER "CLUES" TO THE POUND!!

THIS IS ME AND CASH WATCHING HIS SHOW..I USED TO LOVE CARTOONS GROWING UP.  I EVEN USED TO REALLY LIKE WATCHING THE GROWN UP CARTOONS LIKE, SOUTH PARK, AMERICAN DAD, FAMILY GUY ETC... BUT IN THE LAST 2 YEARS I HAVE COME TO REALLY EFFING' HATE ALL ANIMATED SHOWS AND MOVIES.. EVEN COMMERCIALS..  CARTOONS ARE ALL MY WIFE AND I WATCH NOW.. ITS SO BAD THAT WE KNOW EVERY DANCE, SONG AND WORD SCRIPTED TO ANY SHOW.. I ALSO BLAME DISH TV. BECAUSE IT GAVE US THE ABILITY TO RECORD AND PLAY BACK EVERY SHITTY CARTOON KNOWN TO MAN KIND..(DICKS) AND THE WORST OF THEM ALL.... STANKIN' ASS "BLUES CLUES"..!! I CAN'T GET THIS SHIT OUT OF MY HEAD!!  I KNOW WE ALL WANT TO SAY AND BELIEVE THAT WE HAVE THE SMARTEST KID ON THE BLOCK. AND "I" IN FACT DO... SO MUCH SO THAT HE TAUGHT HIMSELF SIGN LANGUAGE BY  BASICALLY  WATCHING BLUES CLUES...  SO DAY AND NIGHT ALMOST 24/7 MY WIFE AND I GET BLASTED WITH THIS..

IF YOU'RE A PARENT OF  SMALL CHILDREN YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.. THE DOG, THE HAND SIGNALS, THE THINKING CHAIR, AND THAT FUCKING NOTEBOOK!! I SWEAR THERE ARE ABOUT 100 DIFFERENT NOTEBOOKS AROUND MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!   IT NEVER FAILS, HE WAKES UP... BOOM!! BLUES CLUES..  HE GOES NITE-NITE..BOOM.! BLUES CLUES!! IT NEVER STOPS... IT'S DRIVING MY WIFE AND I BAT SHIT CRAZY OVER BLUES CLUES!! AND ALL THE OTHER CARTOONS RECEIVE THE AFTER AFFECTS OF OUR RAGE! ALL I WANT TO DO IS TAKE "BLUE" TO THE POUND AND TAKE "JOE AND STEVE'S" PUNK ASS AROUND BACK  AND BEAT THE BRAKES OFF BOTH OF THEM!!  THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD SAVE THIS SHOW FROM MY ANGER IS IF MANSON TOOK IT OVER AND REALLY REV'ED IT UP A NOTCH OR TWO.. I WOULD BE PUMPED THEN...

THIS WOULD BE THE ILLIST' SHOW TO HIT NICKELODEON SINCE PINWHEEL!! (IF YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO REMEMBER PINWHEEL, JUST KNOW IT WENT HARD AS SHIT)  ANY WHO, I FEEL LIKE A REAL TARDO' WALKING AROUND AT WORK ALL DAY SINGING FUCKING BLUES CLUES.. I EVEN DO IT IN MY TRUCK WHEN "J-BEEBS" HASN'T INTERRUPTED MY LIFE LIKE HE DOES ON A DAMN NEAR DAILY BASIS..  I MEAN, AS PARENTS WE NEED TO REALLY LOOK AT WHAT IS GOING ON HERE. I KNOW, I KNOW ITS USED AS A TOOL TO GIVE MOMMY A BREAK AND LET YOUR KID STAY QUIET FOR A LITTLE BIT.  BUT LETS LOOK AT WHAT A SHOW LIKE THIS REALLY DOES.. HERE WE GO..

FACT:  THIS CLOWN REAPS ALL THE BENEFITS... HIS PLAN IS TO PLAY INTO THE YOUNG MOTHERS CUTE SIDE AND SCORE AS MUCH A POSSIBLE. HE COULD GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT YOUR CHILD'S EDUCATIONAL NEEDS OR IMPROVEMENTS.. HE IS KNOWN WORLD WIDE AND PROLLY SCORES COKE AND M.I.L.F.'S ON THE REG BECAUSE OF OUR LACK OF PARENTING SKILLS..

THIS SHOULD SAY IT ALL. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR KID RAN INTO THE "REAL" STEVE?? WELL I KNOW WHAT HE WOULD DO BASED OFF THIS PIC.  AND I KNOW FOR A FACT HE WOULD GO TO THE PENITENTIARY ON A 10-20 YEAR STRETCH BECAUSE OF IT..  STRANGER DANGER,STRANGER DANGER!!

AND THEN THERE IS JOE.... 2ND RATE BACK-UP TO STEVE... OR AS THE SHOW CALLS HIM.. "STEVE'S LITTLE BROTHER"  MAN YOU GOTTA REALLY SUCK TO PLAY SECOND FIDDLE TO INMATE # 13453...  EVEN STEVE THINKS YOU BLOW HARDER THAN 3 SWISS DUDE IN A RICOLLA' COMMERICAL.. 

STEVE ONLY LETS YOU IN THE HOUSE BECAUSE HE'S DOPE SICK AND HE SENDS YOU OUT TO SCORE SOME SMACK FOR HIM.... CASE IN POINT.....

AT LEAST PEDOPHILE STEVE IS CONSISTENT WITH HIS COLORS.. YOU CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT WHAT COLOR IS YOUR FAVE... GET IT TOGETHER LAMO!!  PARENTS, I KNOW LIFE AND WORK ARE HARD.. BUT WE HAVE TO REMEMBER SHOWS LIKE THE TELETUBBIES AND BARNEY AND WHY WE DON'T WANT OUR KIDS WATCHING THAT SHIT...

WHAT THEY NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT BARNEY'S ASS!!

WHAT YOU ALWAYS THOUGHT ABOUT THE "TUBBIES"

AT THE END OF THE DAY BLUES CLUES COMES DOWN TO ONE THING.... STEVE, JOE AND THEIR ACCOMPLICE BLUE ONLY WANT ON THING.... YOUR LITTLE BOYS

TALLY-WHACKER!!

I WISH THAT MY KID WOULD WATCH THE OLD SCHOOL CARTOONS.. YOU KNOW THE ONES THAT TAUGHT YOU THAT THE WORLD IS AN UGLY PLACE.. THAT ITS A DOG EAT DOG WORLD, THE CLASSIC GOOD AGAINST EVIL  AND YOU HAVE TO GET YOURS WHILE THE GETTIN' IS GOOD... YEA YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT.....

THIS IS WHO OUR KIDS NEED TO LEARN FROM  WHEN WE ARE NOT THERE.. WILE "E" COYOTE. HE'S  ABOUT HARD WORK AND DEDICATION TO COMPLETE WHATEVER MISSION IS SET IN FRONT OF HIM... YEA I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING... "OLE' WILE E." NEVER CAUGHT THE ROAD RUNNER OR BUGS BUNNY.. I KNOW THIS BUT YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT.... HE NEVER QUIT, ALWAYS HAD A PLAN B,C,D,E AND WHEN ALL ELSE FAILED, HE WOULD JUST STRAP HIS ASS TO THE BIGGEST ROCKET POSSIBLE AND HOPE SHIT WOULD WORK OUT!!  NO RISK, NO REWARD!!! WHAT YOU HAVE TO REALLY LOOK AT IS WHAT HE WAS WORKING WITH.... HIS SUPPLIES CAME FROM THE CHEAPEST BIDDER AND THE PARTS WERE MANUFACTURED IN MEXICO.. WHAT DOES THAT SOUND LIKE?? AMERICA!! THAT'S WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE!!

IF YOU GAVE HIM THE PROPER EQUIPMENT AND FUNDING THAT BIRD WOULDN'T HAVE A CHANCE IN HELL.. AND THAT'S THE DEAD BALL TRUTH!!  SO WITH THAT PARENTS AND FRIENDS, LETS START THINKING ABOUT WHO WE WANT OUR KIDS TO WATCH.... WEIRD PEDOPHILE SHOWS WITH HIDDEN INNUENDOS..... OR OLD SKOOLY ACME CARTOONS THAT TAUGHT MOST OF US HOW TO BE CREATIVE, TAKE THE BUMPS AND BRUISES AND KEEP TRYING AGAIN AGAIN... I SAY GO WITH THE LATTER... BUT LIKE MOST OF YOU I AM TOO LATE.. MY KID JUST SAID HIS FIRST FULL SENTENCE TODAY AND AS PROUD A POPPA AS I AM IT WENT WAY SOUTH WITH THE REQUEST MY SON MADE.. MOMMA: CASH WHAT DO YOU WANT TO WATCH ??"CASH:  WATCH MAMMY (THAT'S MANNY) AND OSO"..  

FML!!! THE TRIFECTA'!! ITS THE WORST WHEN DISNEY PUTS 2 MAIN CHARACTERS IN ONE SHOW!! IT WILL NEVER GO AWAY!! AND WE WATCH IT EVERY DAMN DAY!!!!   IN CLOSING, I HAVE TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO MY WIFE LACEY... SHE HAS IT WAY WORSE THAN ME.. I HAVE THE OPTION OF GOING TO WORK.. SHE ON THE OTHER HAND HAS TO STAY HOME AND GET HER GRIND ON WITH ALL THE WEAK ASS TOON SHOWS!! I'M SORRY BABY AND I LOVE YOU !! BUT DAMN!!!  THAT'S GOTTA SUX REALLY BAD!!  OH AND ONE MORE THING.. IF THIS PIC IS REALLY FOR REALZ...... WE ARE ALL FUCKED!!!!

  

JUST PRAY TO WHATEVER GOD YOU PRAY TO THAT THIS IS JUST A SHITTY JOKE!!

AS ALWAYS, 100% TRUE AS SHIT!

TIL' NEXT TIME!!

ONE SHOT, ONE KILL!!

-SONZ 0F DADZ PRODUCTION-