MY WHOLE LIFE REVOLVED AROUND THE SCHOOL SALES AT THE "KRAP-MART" DURING MY WONDER YEARS. AND LET ME TELL YOU THAT WHEN I HAD TO GO THERE WITH MY MOM TO GET MY SCHOOL DUDS, I WAS NOT HAPPY IN THE LEAST BIT. I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS, WHEN YOU WERE A KID IN GRADE SCHOOL THE LAST PLACE YOU WANTED TO GET AT WAS THE EFF-ING KRAP-MART!! BUT WHAT WAS I TO DO?? TELL MOMMY THAT I WASN'T GONNA WEAR THAT BULLSHIT?? NO, NO I THINK NOT.. I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE RETARD SMACKED OUT OF ME FOR ACTING LIKE I WAS TOO GOOD FOR THERE QUALITY SCHOOL CLOTHES BRAND OF SHIT ON A HANGER.. AND FOR THE RECORD MOM.... I WAS FUCKING TOO GOOD!! THEIR CLOTHES BLEW MAD HORSE "D".. THERE I SAID IT AFTER 28 YEARS OF REPRESSION.. ANYWAYS, I HAD TO MAKE A GAME OUT OF GOING THERE.. AND THE BEST I COULD THINK OF AT THE TIME WAS PLAYING G.I. FUCKING JOE AROUND THE CLOTHING AND WEAR MASKS AND SHIT HOPING NO ONE EVER SAW ME..
IT WAS SERIOUS BUSINESS FOR ME WHEN I KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE ABUSED "FASHIONABLY" IN THE KRAP-MART.
THIS PLACE REALLY SCREWED ME UP BIG TIME AT SCHOOL.. I MEAN IF I COULD TELL THAT THE CLOTHES WERE SUSPECT AT SHIT, THEN I KNEW THAT ALL OF MY FRIENDS WOULD TOO. AND SURE AS SHIT.. THEY DID.. WHO PAYED FOR IT?? ME MOM!! ME!! THE CLOTHING IS SO BAD THERE THAT THE FABRIC IN WHICH ALL OF IT IS MADE WITH IS EVEN WEIRD AND SHITTY.. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SHITTY PIECE OF CLOTHING THAT HAD THIS WEIRD SHIMMER TO IT? YOU KNOW, THE KIND OF SHIMMER THAT SAYS, " BUY ME BECAUSE I GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO APPARENT FUCKING REASON AND CAN BE USED TO SAFELY CROSS THE STREET IN THE DESERT TYPE SHIMMER? YEA, YOU PROLLY GOT IT FROM THE BIG "K". AND NO MATTER HOW OLD YOU ARE YOU ALWAYS COME OUT WEARING THIS SHIT..
REALLY MOM... I WAS 15... AND WHY THE FUCKING HAT MOM.. AND SORRY BUT A VEST.? NO FUCKING THANKS.. THIS IS WHAT I FELT LIKE 5 OUT OF THE 7 DAYS DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR.. ON THE WEEK-ENDS I WOULD RUN AROUND IN A CUT OFF CAR WASH RAG SHIRT AND SWIM TRUNKS BECAUSE IT WAS THE SWEETEST MOST VINTAGE GEAR I HAD. (SO SAD).
YOU WOULD THINK THAT CHUCK TAYLOR ALL-STARS WERE SUPER CHEAP TO BUY.. CUZ THEY WERE AND STILL ARE.. CHUCKS ARE TIMELESS.. I STILL GOT SOME OF THEM JOINTS. BUT DO YOU THINK FOR A HOT FUCKING SECOND THAT I HAD CHUCK TAYLOR ALL-STARS GROWING UP? HELL TO THE HELL HELL HELL FUCKING NO!! I HAD THESE OFF BRAND BULLSHIT POSER THINGS CALLED ALL-TRACKS!!
MOM: "BUT THEY LOOK JUST LIKE THE REGULAR ONES HONEY. NO ONE WILL EVER NOTICE."
PISSED OFF AS SHIT ME: HORSE SHIT MOM!!! EVERYBODY IS GONNA CLOWN ME RIGHT OUT OF THE SCHOOL!! EVERYONE WILL KNOW THAT THESE ARE BUSTED ASS POSER SNEAKS!!
MOM: "HOW ARE THEY REALLY GONNA KNOW? THEY LOOK JUST LIKE THEM. AND STOP CURSING." WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE 15/"
PISSED OFF AS SHIT ME: BECAUSE THEY ARE JEAN FUCKING SHOES WITH RIPS AND SHIT!!! OH AND THERE IS NOT A BIG ASS STAR THAT SAYS , CHUCK FUCKING TAYLOR ALL-STARS!!!. AND YES MOM, I AM 15 FOR REAL ASS YEARS OLD!!!"
MOM: "WELL ITS NOT A FASHION SHOW, SO UNTIL YOU ARE BUYING YOUR OWN CLOTHES AND SHOES THIS IS WHAT YOU FATHER AND I THINK YOU NEED. SUCH AN UNGRATEFUL TEENAGER!" YOU'RE LUCKING YOUR GETTING THIS.. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD TO WEAR ON MY FEET FOR SCHOOL? THAT'S RIGHT YOU DON'T, BECAUSE WE HAD TO MAKE WHAT WE WORE!! I WORE ROPE SANDALS TO SCHOOL MOST OF THE TIME. SO JUST SAY THANK YOU AND GET IN THE CAR!!"
PISSED OFF AS SHIT ME: "OH YEA, YOU MADE YOUR OWN SHOES? DID YOU MAKE THESE RAGGETY' MUTHER FUCKERS MOM?? CAUSE IF YOU DID... FAIL.. AND BY THE WAY "JESUS" I DIDN'T KNOW ROPE SANDALS WERE IN BACK THEN.. I'M SURE THE TREK WAS LONG AND UP-HILL BOTH WAYS FOR YA...
MOM: "SHUT YOU SMART ASS MOUTH!!
ME: "FUCK, I HATE MY LIFE."
AFTER THAT DAY, I WAS THE FIRST 16 YEAR OLD LOOKING FOR A JOB. AND WHEN I DID, I HAD A GANG FULL OF SHOES.. MAINLY CUZ I WORKED AT RACK ROOM SHOES AND GOT HELLA DISCOUNTS.. MY DAD EVEN GOT PISSED BECAUSE EVERY PAYDAY I HAD SOME FRESH NIKE'S ON. HE ASK ME IF I HAD BEEN STEALIN'? HELL NO, I BUY THESE WITH MY MONEY, CUZ I WONT EVER PUT THOSE STANKIN ASS ALL-TRACKS ON EVER AGAIN! TALK ABOUT SCARRED FOR LIFE.
HEY I GOT IT, THINGS ARE HARD AND YOU DO THE BEST TO PUT CLOTHES AND FOOD ON YOUR KIDS BACK AND ON THE TABLE.. AND FOR THAT I APPRECIATE WHAT MOM AND DAD DID FOR ME AND MY BROTHER, BUT DAMN..... CAN I DUDE JUST GET SOME FRESH GEAR THAT DON'T SMELL LIKE MOTH BALLS??
REMEMBER FOLKS AND FRIENDS THAT READ THIS. K-MART IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN. EVERYTHING IN THERE IS HEXED AND CURSED!! IF YOU GOTTA PINCH PENNIES, TAKE YO' ASS TO TARGET OR OLD FUCKING NAVY!! YOU CAN GET A GANG OF SHIT FOR LITTLE TO NO MONEY I EVEN THINK THEY HAVE COOPS' AND SHIT.. AND IF YOU WANT TO REALLY STEP UP YOUR CLOTHING GAME TO NEW HEIGHTS... GO MAKE IT RAIN IN MARSHAL'S...
AS ALWAYS 100% REAL ASS SHIT!!!
ONE SHOT, ONE KILL!!
-SONZ-OF-DADZ-PRODUCTION-
